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Assessment in Learning: A Freshminded Teacher's Perspective

2010-05-19T08:59:00.001+08:00

Over the recent years, education system in Malaysia has undergone massive reformation. One aspect of such reformation is in regard with examination and assessment underpinning the 9th Malaysian Plan in which dictate the shift away from examinations (Asraf & Ponnudurai, 2008). “We are entering an epoch in which assessment is at the forefront of educational reform” (Morreale, 1996). This means that the conservative perspective in which regard examination as the ultimate method of assessing students achievement is no longer dominating. Under such reformation, teachers nationwide are now pressed to reform too; and it is not a question of whether teachers want or not but rather, by default, compulsory. Relying on commercially published materials to administer test is by all means is a question of educational accountability. Having said that, what a teacher need is a completely new practice in assessment by developing tools and procedures for monitoring, recording, and assessing learners’ progress and achievement in the classroom on a more systematic and formal basis (Brindley, 1997). “This shift has also been accompanied by the realisation that assessment is not simply a technical, psychometric area of knowledge” (O’Loughlin, 2006).

Most teachers would certainly takes assessment for granted considering the degree of dependence on commercially published materials without having realised the underlying and most crucially needed benefits of assessment. Fundamentally, teachers probably have to be reminded that assessment is what bridging teaching and learning without which teaching would be no value at all as Asraf and Ponnudurai (2008) put it forward “teaching and assessment are interwoven and cannot be considered as separate entities because assessment is an ongoing process”. And it should be noted by now that learning is a process by which at the end of the process there have to be a tangible outcome and very often it turns out not as what has been initially expected. “For this reason, it is imperative that educators have student learning outcomes data to better understand what is working and what is not, to identify curricular and pedagogical weaknesses, and to use this information to improve performance” (Kuh & Ikenberry, 2009). A failure to articulate the relationship between learning and assessment has resulted “in a mismatch between the high quality learning described in policy documents as desirable and the poor quality learning that seems likely to result from associated assessment procedures” (Willis citied in Gipps, 1994).

Black and Wiliam (1998, citied in Boston) define assessment broadly to include all activities that teachers and students undertake to get information that can be used diagnostically to alter teaching and learning. “Assessment refers to measuring learner performance (either before or after a teaching intervention, or both)” (Lockee, Moore & Burton, 2002). Huba and Fred (2000, citied in Muirhead, 2002) on the other hand, define assessment as the process which involves gathering information from a variety of sources to cultivate a rich and meaningful understanding of student learning. Therefore, teachers who equipped with good assessment skill would definitely capable of determining what is working and the next step to be implemented since “assessment used to determine the extent to which students are achieving the intended learning outcomes of instruction” (Gronlund, 2003). And since “one type of assessment cannot meet the needs of all audiences” (Asraf & Ponnudurai, 2008) a good teacher suppose continuously assessing students with wide variety of assessment approach “whether those assessment are incidental or intended” (.ibid).

Though it is evident that assessment of learning is growing, much more rapid and complete progress needs to be undertaken to better understand and describe what students should know, understand, and be able to do. By providing a compendium of good assessment for different type of purposes it is therefore contemplated that assessment would better impart the kind of information that would help makes the improvement of instruction.

Bibliography

Asraf, M. R. & Ponnudurai, P.S. (2008, June). Challenges In Languages Assessment: Are We Ready? Paper presented at the International Conference on Developments in the Pedagogy of International Languages: A gateway for Practioners, Kuala Lumpur.

Boston, C. (2002). The concept of formative assessment. Practical Assessment, Research & Evaluation, 8(9). Retrieved March 14, 2010, from http://pareonline.net/getvn.asp?v=8&n=9

Brindley, G.(1997)Assessment and the Language Teacher: Trends and Transitions. The Language Teacher. Retrieved March 14, 2010, from http://www.jalt-publications.org/tlt/files/97/sep/brindley.html

Gipps, V. C. (1994). Beyond Testing: Towards a Theory of Educational Assessment. London: Falmer Press.

Gronlund, E. N. (2003). Assessment of Student Achievement. Boston: Pearson Education, Inc.

Kuh, G., & Ikenberry, S. (2009, October). More Than You Think, Less Than We Need: Learning Outcomes Assessment in American Higher Education. Retrieved March 14, 2010, from http://www.learningoutcomeassessment.org/documents/fullreportrevised-L.pdf

Lockee, B., Moore, M., & Burton, J. (2002). Measuring Success: Evaluation Strategies for Distance Education. Educause Quaterly, 1. Retrieved March 14, 2010, from http://net.educause.edu/ir/library/pdf/eqm213.pdf

Morreale, S. P. (1992). Large Scale Assessment of Oral Communication: K-12 and Higher Education. (Report No. ISBN-0-944811-19-1). Office of Educational Research and Improvement (ED), Washington, DC. (ERIC Document Reproduction Service No. ED 399578)

Muirhead, B. (2002, February). Relevant Assessment Strategies for Online Colleges and Universities. USDLA Journal 2, Article 04. Retrieved March 14, 2010, from http://www/usdla.org/html/journal/FEB02_Issue/article.html

O’Loughlin, K. (2006). Learning about Second Language Assessment: Insights from a Postgraduate Student On-Line Subject Forum (Electronic Version). TESOL, 1, 71-85.

Pra-Marital Sex!

2010-04-21T10:11:00.000+08:00

Semenjak dari dulu lagi masyarakat kita cuba untuk menjustifikasikan sesuatu perbuatan atau tindakan dari perspektif moralitinya; menilai samada tindakan tersebut betul ataupun salah. Dan adalah menjadi suatu kelaziman bagi masyarakat kita untuk mencari rasional disebalik sesuatu tindakan yang mana sering membawa kepada penilaian seperti yang disebutkan diatas. Namun masyarakat itu sendiri menggunakan satu kaedah penilaian yang amat subjektif sifatnya sehingga timbul persoalan: apakah asas bagi penilaian tersebut? Bagaimana aspek moraliti dalam sesuatu tindakan itu ditentukan sedangkan pada masa yang sama kita cuma bertindak sebagai pemerhati? Jika dikaji dengan lebih terperinci, penilaian seumpama itu banyak dipengaruhi oleh sistem budaya sesuatu masyarakat tersebut. Pendek kata, baik atau buruknya sesuatu tindakan itu sering dikaitkan dengan cara hidup. Secara ringkasnya, apa yang berpadanan dengan cara kehidupan yang biasa (tidak bertentangan dengan norma masyarakat) akan dianggap bermoral (baik) manakala perkara yang tidak selari dengan nilai dan tidak menepati citarasa sesebuah masyarakat dilihat sebagai salah atau dalam konteks kefalsafahan dianggap sebagai tidak bermoral. Itulah sendi bagi penilaian tersebut. Kaedah ini nampaknya diguna pakai untuk semua perkara termasuklah dalam isu seks pra-perkahwinan. Isu ini bagaimanapun, tidak dapat diputuskan dengan jelas kerana setiap kelompok masyarakat mempunyai budayanya yang tersendiri yang mana adalah refleksi kepada status nilai yang diamalkan. Contoh yang paling jelas adalah budaya masyarakat timur dan masyarakat barat. Dimalaysia isu ini dianggap tidak bermoral manakala di Amerika perkara ini dilihat sebagai sesuatu yang normal; suatu yang telah menjadi kebiasaan.

Jadi, isu ini sebenarnya sukar ditentukan hanya dengan menggunakan penilaian yang berpaksikan kepada sistem kebudayaan semata-mata dan bukan menggunakan satu standard yang boleh diterima pakai merentasi budaya. Andaikata terdapat satu standard yang boleh diaplikasikan dalam semua budaya, hal ini juga akan gagal menentukan moraliti isu seks pra-perkahwinan kerana akan bertentangan dengan hak yang dimiliki oleh setiap individu. Dan kita sebagai pemerhati harus menghormati hak tersebut. Dalam esei ini, saya akan berhujah mempertahankan bahawa seks pra-perkahwinan yang dilakukan oleh pasangan kekasih adalah sesuatu yang bermoral dengan membuktikan bahawa hujah-hujah terdahulu yang lazimnya dijadikan isu untuk menjustifikasikan seks pra-perkahwinan diantara pasangan kekasih sebagai tidak bermoral bukan sahaja tidak bernas malah tidak bersifat praktikal pada zaman ini.

Terdapat banyak dalil yang diutarakan yang cuba untuk membuktikan bahawa seks pra-perkahwinan ini adalah sesuatu yang tidak bermoral. Seringkali kita mendengar suara-suara sumbang yang dengan sewenang-wenangnya melabelkan pasangan yang melakukan hubungan seks sebelum berkahwin sebagai liar, cuma bertindak menurut nafsu dan yang paling pedas ialah tidak mendapat didikan agama yang sempurna yang secara tidak langsung mempersoalkan kewibawaan ibu bapa dalam mendidik anak-anak. Dan jarang pula kita mendengar mereka yang menyokong dan secara positif menerima isu ini dengan mengatakan bahawa itu adalah pilihan mereka dan sudah tentu mereka sedar tentang perkara tersebut. Seperkara yang menjadi ketidak puas hatian dikalangan pasangan kekasih ialah dakwaan yang serupa tidak digunakan kepada individu yang berhubungan dengan pelacur atau gigolo lebih-lebih lagi individu yang telah berkahwin. Antara hujah yang mendapat perhatian umum dan paling popular ialah berhubung dengan isu kesihatan, mencabar institusi kekeluargaan, peningkatan kepada isu kehamilan luar nikah seterusnya berakhir dengan pengguguran anak. Kesemua hujah ini sebenarnya tidak boleh diterima sepenuhnya memandangkan bukan hanya menerusi perhubungan seks pra-perkahwinan sahaja perkara-perkara tersebut boleh berlaku. Walaupun memang tidak dinafikan perhubungan seks pra-perkahwinan adalah salah satu penyumbang kepada permasalahan tersebut tetapi hanya dalam peratusan yang sedikit, lebih-lebih lagi seks pra-marital yang dilakukan oleh pasangan kekasih.

Jika ditinjau dari aspek kesihatan, isu yang sering ditimbulkan ialah meningkatnya penyakit yang disebabkan oleh hubungan kelamin terutamanya AIDS. Ramai pihak yang beranggapan dan mendakwa terutamanya ahli-ahli politik bahawa seks pra-marital menyebabkan epidemik AIDS semakin meruncing. Malah ada diantara mereka yang tanpa berfikir panjang mengatakan seks kategori ini merosakkan dan menghancurkan masyarakat. Sejauh mana kebenaran kenyataan ini masih boleh dipersoalkan; mungkinkah lebih teruk daripada isu politik wang yang berleluasa dikalangan mereka? Hujah ini sebenarnya tidak releven dan sulit untuk dikaitkan secara langusung dengan hubungan yang dilakukan oleh pasangan kekasih. Hal ini kerana penyakit yang berjangkit melalui hubungan kelamin hanya akan berlaku sekiranya individu bertukar-tukar pasangan dan aspek kebersihan serta langkah berwaspada tidak dititik beratkan. Perkara ini sudah tentu tidak berlaku dalam hubungan seks yang dilakukan oleh pasangan kekasih kerana satu faktor yang nyata yang membezakan seks yang dilakukan antara pasangan kekasih adalah wujud perasaan cinta terhadap pasangan masing-masing. Pendek kata, mereka melakukan hubungan seks atas dasar cinta dan sedar tentang tindakan mereka. Maka, sudah tentu aspek kesihatan dan langkah berjaga-jaga menjadi keutamaan lantaran terdapat banyak kesan pada kemudian hari yang cuba dihindari.

Dua tahun lepas mantan menteri kesihatan Dr. Chua Soi Lek menganjurkan pemberian kondom secara percuma. Dan awal tahun ini video skandal seksnya terbongkar. Apakah yang cuba dipaparkan oleh peristiwa ini? Mesej yang disampaikan adalah mudah, “seks + kondom = kesihatan terjamin”. Walaupun mesej yang disampaikan tidak dinyatakan secara langsung namun jelas bagi mereka yang sudah lali dengan strategi “orang-orang penting” dalam meraih dan memenangi hati rakyat untuk berada dipihak mereka. Namun disebalik agenda tersembunyi ini, usaha tersebut patut diberikan pujian kerana secara tidak langsung langkah tersebut dapat diinterpretasi sebagai ‘lampu hijau’ sekaligus mempromosi cara yang selamat dalam perhubungan seks tidak kira antara pasangan kekasih ataupun bukan.

Seterusnya adalah seks pra-perkahwinan didakwa mencabar institusi kekeluargaan. Hujah ini terutamanya sering dilemparkan oleh organisasi-organisasi sosial dan badan bukan kerajaan (NGO) yang mengambil berat terhadap kepentingan yang dimainkan oleh institusi kekeluargaan dalam masyarakat. Malah bekas menteri bagi kementerian pembangunan wanita, keluarga dan masyarakat, Dato’ seri Sharizat Abdul Jalil dalam ucapannya sering menekankan kepentingan institusi keluarga dalam memastikan keharmonian dalam masayrakat terperlihara. Beliau juga dengan tegasnya menyatakan bahawa keluarga yang kukuh adalah asas kepada sebuah negara yang maju.

Namun logik bagi kenyataan ini juga sebenarnya tidak boleh diterima seratus peratus. Diserata dunia terdapat ramai pasangan yang tinggal sebumbung malah ada yang mempunyai anak tetapi masih mampu hidup dengan harmoni tanpa ikatan perkahwinan yang sah. Dalam perhubungan, perkara yang paling penting adalah kualiti perhubungan tersebut dan bukannya status perkahwinan itu. Apalah ertinya perkahwinan yang dianjurkan itu, sekiranya perhubungan tersebut tidak kekal lama. Dimalaysia, kita dapat lihat trend penceraian yang semakin meningkat. Sebanyak 70% perkahwinan hanya mampu bertahan sehingga lima tahun sebelum penceraian berlaku. Jadi, adalah menjadi suatu kebodohan yang amat serius seandainya kita berkahwin hanya untuk melihat kebahagiaan itu untuk suatu tempoh yang kita sendiri tidak pasti dan menganggap status perkahwinan sebagai batu loncatan untuk lari daripada masalah. Isu penceraian inilah yang sebenarnya lebih memberi kesan yang mendalam bukan sahaja terhadap pasangan malah terhadap sistem masyarakat itu secara keseluruhannya.

Hujah yang lebih signifikant yang kerap dilontarkan sebagai melabelkan isu seks pra-perkahwinan tidak bermoral ialah aborsi dimana kehamilan yang terjadi hasil perhubungan seks sebelum kahwin antara pasangan kekasih digugurkan. Kita tidak boleh menafikan kemungkinan akan berlakunya kehamilan kerana perkara tersebut adalah perkara biasa apabila hubungan seks berlaku dan apabila sperma dan ovum disenyawakan. Perkara yang menjadi pokok persoalannnya disini ialah sama ada kehamilan tersebut diterima ataupun tidak. Sekiranya kehamilan diterima maka isu aborsi ini tidak boleh diterima pakai dalam menjustifikasikan moraliti seks pra-marital.

Hujah aborsi ini juga tidak berkesan walaupun kehamilan tidak diterima kerana pasangan kekasih berhak berbuat demikian. Seperkara yang perlu diingat ialah isu aborsi ini bukan sahaja berlaku dikalangan pasangan yang belum berkahwin malah turut melibatkan mereka yang sudah berkahwin. Bayangkan kehamilan yang terjadi pada pasangan yang telah mendidikan rumah tangga, tetapi pasangan tersebut tidak berhasrat untuk meneruskan kandungan tersebut, sudah pasti jalan penyelesaian yang paling mujarab adalah dengan melakukan aborsi. Begitu juga halnya dengan pasangan yang belum berkahwin. Walaupun pada hakikatnya, setiap pasangan yang melakukan hubungan sebelum berkahwin telah mengambil langkah berjaga-jaga yang sebaik mungkin untuk menghindari kehamilan. Namun terdapat juga pasangan yang memang berhasrat untuk mendapatkan anak sekalipun mereka masih belum secara rasminya diiktiraf sebagai pasangan suami isteri.

Mengapa saya mengatakan bahawa hujah-hujah tersebut tidak bersifat praktikal pada zaman ini? Global Durex Survey yang dijalankan baru-baru ini menunjukkan satu keputusan yang amat memeranjatkan atau lebih tepat lagi memberangsangkan bagi mereka yang menyokong isu ini. Disebalik kesemua hujah yang dilemparkan, semakin ramai sebenarnya yang menerima dan mengadaptasi ‘budaya’ tersebut. Di Malaysia sahaja, kajian ini mendedahkan bahawa terdapat 46% rakyat Malaysia yang telah melakukan seks sebelum berkahwin. Angka ini telah meningkat sejak sedekad yang lalu. Walaupun kajian ini tidak secara spesifiknya kearah hubungan diantara pasangan kekasih tetapi ini sudah cukup membuktikan bahawa hujah-hujah yang dikemukakan berhubung isu ini semakin tidak diterima pakai oleh masyarakat kita.

Sebagai kesimpulannya, seks pra-perkahwinan yang dilakukan oleh pasangan kekasih adalah sesuatu yang bermoral. Walaubagaimanapun, ada beberapa syarat bagi hubungan ini. Pertama, pasangan kekasih itu perlulah telah mengambil berjaga-jaga sebelum melakukannya dan akan bertanggungjawab sekiranya timbul masalah yang lain seperti kehamilan. Kedua, mereka telah mencapai umur yang sepatutnya dan faham bukan sahaja tentang kenikmatan yang diperolehi dalam perhubungan tersebut tetapi turut meliputi kesan yang lain serta bertanggungjawab terhadap tindakan tersebut. Oleh itu, hujah seperti meningkatnya aborsi dan sebagainya adalah hanya alasan pihak-pihak konservatif untuk cuba memenangi isu ini. Isu utama yang timbul bukan kerana tindakan yang kita lakukan sama ada bermoral atau tidak tetapi bagaimana persepsi kita terhadap sesuatu isu itu. Bagi saya selagi kita tahu dan sedar tentang tindakan kita, selagi itu orang lain tidak berhak menjustifikasikan moraliti disebalik tindakan kita itu. Perkara yang paling penting adalah kita telah bersedia untuk bertanggungjawab dan mempunyai komitment yang tinggi terhadap perhubungan tersebut.

The Girl’s Thought

2010-04-12T14:03:00.002+08:00

~After a Seven Months of Relationship~

When He hadn’t SMS or contacted She for two days in a row or so, lots of wild accusations playing in her brain. While waiting anxiously at the other side for any news from He, She work outs lot of possible reasons until one day She couldn’t wait and resist her natural curiosity, then SMS He. The plan is intently to draw his attention back to her in case something had accidentally happened at the other side. Following are what She quick-typed and sent; the sentence is such a simplicity but comprises of two fatally attacks.

a) Don’t you care about me or missing me at all?
b) Have you been seeing or keeping another girl?

The first to come into his mind is what the bloody hell had gotten into her? Is She losing her mind? Unprepared of such a thing, He immediately rang her demanded for thorough explanation. In such a period how could She actually came up with all those nonsense. He could barely grasped things She was saying. And self-explained himself, all She was able to say, “That is for not contacted or SMS me and better next time you tell me earlier” without even a single trace of guilt. He was pissed off. He cares for She so much and couldn’t stand the fact of distancing but in return what did He received, a continuous and blind accusations. The least of what He ever wanted is such attribute that sometimes can be very sickening.

How ridiculous a girl sometimes can be and not to mention the quick judgment She possesses!

Punished

2010-04-11T13:52:00.011+08:00

Though I’m not really an avid reader nevertheless reading always my source of great deal of satisfaction, on the contrary, Punished is punishing, painful and torturous reading. Turning page after page sent me a great mixture of feelings; a great sense of sympathy, notoriously indignant and all sort of emotions crawling inside me or rather I didn’t know what I felt most of the times. Being emotionally unstable myself in that my emotions are easily expressed through my body motions, I found myself in an unfathomable circumstance. Most of the times, my physical betrayed my emotions! I felt so close to the story that it was so vividly pictured in my head like a motion picture. I gained lots of unspeakable truths about life and it further affirmed the kind of thought I have about life in particular that life is all about hatred and just a tiny space for love and yet that bits of love could be snatched away in just a matter of time. I was however severely infuriated since towards the end of my reading I didn’t supplied with sufficient evidences of why those cruel and disgusting scenes in the story occurred. All in all, I resented the novel to pieces and I regretted reading it and I should have not read it at the first place.

Smoking and Drinking

2010-04-07T19:03:00.006+08:00

Tobacco was discovered around 6000 BC in central America and the Mayan civilization was the first to use Tobacco by chewing and smoking it in 1000 BC. It only later that the term smoking was coined and Christopher Columbus was believed to introduce the term.

"Smoking is hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, and dangerous to the lungs"
~King James I~

The existence of alcohol almost coincides the existence of the human history - neolithic period (10000 BC). The earliest alcoholic beverages was made from berries or honey and belong to the Egyptian. Not surprisingly, almost every culture and religion existed with the exception of Islam, regards alcoholic drink as a gift from God and only to be consumed in moderation.

"Mohamed may have forbidden alcohol in order to further to distinguish his followers from those of other religions"
~(Royce, 1986, cited in Hanson, 1995)~

(Hanson, D.J. (1995). Preventing Alcohol Abuse: Alcohol, Culture and Control. Wesport, CT: Praeger.

Commemorating my first time to get drunk was hilarious. There was a party in my neighbourhood, my friends and I went there and by tradition drinking and to get drunk is not an exception. Apart from eating, there is no other reason to turn up in a party but to drink until to the last drip. Though initially I've no intention to get sober, with my friends persuasion at last get me to drink. It was awesome. I thought I was fairly sober that night not to mention I was barely unable to walk home. Around 1am I ceased home myself. I tried really hard to walk normally. Soon I got home, I picked up my toothbrush and doing my routine stuffs. My mother was still wide awake. I pretended nothing happened and to look as usual. Her habit of 'awakeness' happened since the era of my brothers. I guess she was worried. I tried not to initiate any conversation but she finally broke into question. "Are they still lots of people there?" Nervously I said, yes. With that she went upstairs. Just that? I was relieved. The next thing I know, I was lying in my bed. Passed out! I was awake almost noon, I got downstairs and was celebrated by my mother question. "How much you drink last night? I said, huh? So was I thought that the question she asked me the night before is kind of ALCOHOL LEVEL TEST!

I used to loathe smokers, badly. The smell of a cigarette is powerful enough to overpower a bottle of DKNY. I started smoking quite later in my teenage life. At least not as early as those other smokers. Interestingly, I never get addicted. I can quite and smoke any time I prefer. When my mother discovered me smoking for the first time, she was ravingly in wrath. She said so violently that I guess she didn't thought what she said to me. One of her speech I remember the most, "it doesn't make you any handsome". I burst into laugh. Sometimes my mother is quite a joker too. She smiled too. I said to her later, you have to trust me on this. It will never get any closer to me. With that assurance she just constantly reminds me of how bad smoking is. Ironically, she is cultivating tobacco!

Sometimes, a mother is overprotective and worry for no apparent reasons. I guess it just a nature of a mother. Well, at least this is a son's point of view.

"I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now"
~Bill Hicks~

"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy"
~Frank Sinatra~

How I become a Pollopescetarian!

2010-04-06T09:36:00.007+08:00

"Although I have been prevented by outward circumstances from observing a strictly vegetarian diet, I have been long an adherent to the cause in principle. Besides agreeing with the aims of vegetarianism for aesthetic and moral reasons. it is my view that a vegetarian manner of living by its purely physical effect on the human temperament would most beneficially influence the lot of human kind"
~Albert Einstein~

"Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we stop harming all other living beings, we are still savages"
~Thomas Edison~

My diet consist mainly of vegetable and fish/chicken.

I have a family of no history of vegetarianism. They eat all spectrum of foods. In fact everything. Nothing excluded. From tiny insects to giant mammals or reptiles. It's unsurprisingly since that is how we're actually composed of; my community. This cannibalism running through the blood of every people in my community.

Back in time when I was still a toddler, I'm a proud pork lover. My brother used to buy me the canned pork and every time too, I was every delighted. But that was before I spewed everything. From that point onwards I fell grossed of pork! I loathe even the smell of it! How disgusting! So, the last time that thing gotten into my digestive organs was 12 years ago.

My mother has cows. I help her to look after them, in return my mother promised me to give one. I was extremely intoxicated. So when one of the cows gave birth to a lovely boy cub, I rushed to my mother and she kept her promise. And the cub is mine. It was awesome. Well, I was a kid. Everything was cool. Few years later, when I got back from school I was aghast only to being informed that the used to be boy cub would be to serve. I wait no time to violently cried. I said to my mother, "How could you!". She said my brother is getting married. Lacking the knowledge, I replied "and what it has anything to do with the cub". How stupid I was back then. After all, my brother is getting his pussy! If only I knew that the boy cub is only to be eaten, I disowned him from the beginning. Too bad, I was purely innocent at the time, if it would the present, I would say to my brother, "You have no bloody fucking right over the cub"! And imagine how frustrated I was that I didn't go to my brother's wedding. I watched the cub being slaughtered at the distant. What I hate the most is those men were seems enjoying when they laughed while skinning the cub. I was very sorry for the cub and because of that I didn't eat red meats since then.

So this is how I become Pollopescetarian. I don't eat red meats and pork but I eat fish and chicken. This is a rare combination. And on top of everything, I never slaughter any animal nor do I dare to watch them being slaughtered. In my community, I might be called sissy but I don't care, they never know how primitive they are!

"I have always eaten animals flesh with a somewhat a guilty conscience"
~Albert Einstein~

"I'm in favour of animals right as well as human rights. That is the a way of whole human being"
~Abraham Lincoln~

Losing My Religion

2010-04-05T16:54:00.008+08:00

"Religion is an insult to human dignity. With or without it, you'd have good people doing good things
and evil people doing bad things, but if good people to do bad things, it takes religion"
~Steven Weinberg~

Simply put, religion is created to conceal the hideous demeanour of humanity! I won't be so sceptical about religion, likewise I won't be deceived. Either way, I stick my head to what I conceive as seemingly dependable. That way I could avoid fanaticism and to dispel any pathetic convictions.

"God has no religion"
~Mahatma Gandhi~

"Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind"
~Albert Einstein~

I was questioned by a superior and quite a prominent figure of Paganism in my village. During that time, I was actively exercising my religion and on my way to a Sunday service. She said "why do people keep on going to church when the same time, after the prayer is over, they commit the same mistakes again"? She had a salient point and bluntly, I said, "that is why they go to church". I noticed that acted like a fool by reversing her sentence. Quite later, when I rethink of it, I'm just impressed, after all, she is using her brain!

Cross: The Symbol of Christianity (Salvation)

R.E.M -Losing My Religion

Ooh, Life is bigger
It's bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no I've said too much, I set it up.

That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep a viev
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no I've said too much
I haven't said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

Every whisper
Of every waking hour I'm
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool,
fool
Oh no I've said too much, I set it up

Consider this, consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip, it brought me
to my knees, failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing aground
Now I've said too much

I might be no longer exercising what I used to ravingly believe but I'm unshakable. I daresay that I believe what I believe and nothing gonna change that. One might say, "Jesus is actually married". I would say, "So what? He needs some pleasure too".

"We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.
~Jonathan Swift~

I'm a dog FANATIC!

2010-04-05T08:45:00.011+08:00

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.
~Samuel Butler~

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet.
~Edith Wharton~

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
~Will Rogers~

One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you're feeling blue is that he doesn't try to find out why.
~Unknown Author~

They're cool!

Ever since I was a little kid, I always wanted to have a dog. Too bad, my mother never wanted me to own one. She said, I ain't take care of that. I was really envious with the other kids playing with their little puppy. My brother said he could help me to take care of it and promised me to find a dog. But he could never will. So, my childhood dream simply engraved on my memory.

I remember the first time I own a dog, back then I was sixteen. I named him Alex, a distant uncle of me gave it to me. He was black and white. Not so much the kind of dog I wanted but I feel excited though. During that time my mother was away visiting my brothers and sisters. I phoned her to tell and I got quite a reaction from her. She laughed while saying, "Don't expect me to take care of that thing. It's your responsibility". I said, I know. With that approval, I spent almost a hundred to buy puppy stuff. I was quite overexcited! I care for him so much but sadly he died of critical skin infection a year later. I was so devastated. I buried him and too bad, I'm sixteen and I was crying for a dog. No, my dog. My mother told me, it was just a dog, everyone would die. Of course, I know that, I said. It almost years I couldn't get rid the thought of him.

Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really.
~Agnes Sligh Turnbull~

I was managed to pull myself together to get a dog again three months before I departed to KK. This time it was my cousin who gave me the dog. He was yellowish with white spot on both of his legs, I called him Scooby. I taught him simple instructions like, 'stay here', 'come here', 'go downstairs', 'go outside'. He is learning way too fast that I ever imagined despite the fact that he is of totally local breed. My mother, unable to perform any of those instructions, would called out for me or my nephews. Scooby is so brilliant that my brother who dislikes dog eventually said, "karaati kadung ko iti tasu diti". Unfortunately, I was gone to KK. I would constantly check him up during weekend. The next time I saw him, he was a big dog that barely understand my simple instructions anymore. He is localised again. He is still my dog though, it just that my passion for him is not quite the same.

How adorable!

I'm no more a kid now, but my passion for dogs is never die. I still longing to have a cool dog and convince that one day it gonna be fulfilled. And I would try to have either Siberian or Alaskan Husky. It gonna be awesome.

With the exception of women, there is nothing on earth so agreeable or necessary to comfort of a man as the dog.
~Edward Jesse~

The greatest love is a mother's; then a dog's; then a sweetheart's.
~Polish Proverb~

If you can look at a dog and not feel vicarious excitement and affection, you must be a cat.
~unknown Author~

You ask of my companions. Hills, sir, sundown, and a dog as large as myself that my father bought me. They are better than human beings, because they know but do not tell.
~Emily Dickinson~

Are they really don’t understand or they’re being ungrateful?

2010-04-04T13:34:00.007+08:00

One night my mother went on preaching my two younger nephews. With tears almost made through her wrinkled cheeks, she began recounting the hard life we had before. I mean we’re not making lots of money today but better. Slowly she said, “amu dikoo orotian songkuro kasangsara di Anang”. She stopped. I sat quietly on the other side listening. I saw my two nephews made a guilty face. “Mantad kou di tokodok po, e Anang ot manaak dikoo dot siin, nunu no ot gamaan dikoo? Sumikul tatantu nga amu” she continued. I never understand why my nephews seem not to understand, my brother has given them everything insofar he never think for himself. He devoted his entire work mainly for them, plus me. In return, my nephews have done nothing to help them not to mention to help my brother. I was so pissed off that I actually went berserk and hit them twice. My mother once told me that I am never to hit them again. Fine! I kick them though. They are so ungrateful!

That night, my mother seriously mad at them. I guess she had waited that time for long to talk to my nephew. I never blame my mother for saying anything since she is the legal guardian for my nephew ever since they were dumped by their biological mother. Being an old woman she is now, she barely can take care of herself but my nephew keep on giving her a hard time. I said to them, if anything happen to her, you know better what I’m capable of doing. Seemingly, they are taking for granted the fact that my mother is still breathing and forget the other fact that she could walk away any second without prior warning. What I feared the most is one day my cellphone ringing only to inform that she is gone like several calling I received for the past few years of my stay in KK. I keep on reminding both my mother and my father to stay with me until I finished what I’ve started. I still could recalled my mother told me before I departed that she might be gone within those four years of my going. I said to her “no please wait for me, it is not that long”. While my father keep on asking me when I’ll be really coming home. Carefully, I said, soon.

I knew I’m not a pious son I am but what my nephews have become is far too much. I wonder if for once they even think about the family. I really doubted it. They might think that today is not the same than those of yesterday that they are no longer have to work hard because everything is right there. It might be true but still it is not a good excuse to simply forget that if not about yesterday, they are nothing! Indeed, nothing! My brothers never granted me permission to work, they just give me anything but I didn’t misused the trust and instead I’m working hard myself to help me and them. I considered what I have done for years now is kind of appreciation to them and I told them, when there is still me and for as long I am needed, I would certainly be there. I value them deeply that for once I never think to turn my back on them. For without them, I’m nothing myself!

Finally, my mother said, “ombo kou nono dino mangarati, yoku diti amu elaan sera matai. Awasi kou po siti id pomogunanan nga amu oku e matatad”. With that she went upstairs, I knew she was crying. I made her cried once, she is my mother and I very well knew how she contains herself. She never cried in front! I loathe myself and my nephews for letting her to tears. I’m hoping they would someday understand how life can be so cruel! Until then, let them be!

Kids (Old Macdonald Choir and Choral Speaking)

2010-04-03T21:41:00.006+08:00

SRK Sindumin, Sipitang
Closing Ceremony Performance

Surprisingly, the greeting and the closing line is made just before they start to perform and they successfully include them. Bravo, Bravo, kids!

It is sometimes frustrating working with young learners. I found it compelling nonetheless. I was impressed with how these kids amazingly performed with merely three hours of practice. At least when considering their age and their English deficiency. I certainly underestimating them. This is my major achievement so far and looking forward to collaborating with kids like them again. Unfortunately, I would be teaching High School; freshmen, Sophomore and Senior. Technically, dealing with these group of learners even more challenging and not to mention depressing; crazy-driving!

We might not be meeting again kids, but you have became the transcendent fragment of my life. And you might not read this, but wishing you a very good luck in your life. I sound more and more like a teacher! I am not sure whether to embrace in enjoyment or regretting this 'likeliness'!

Language and Power

2010-04-03T10:20:00.001+08:00

I was reading about language and Power. In reading it, I made a summary so what I read can be retained and retrieved. I have a very short term memory; I incline to forget stuffs fairly easily. Here is the summary of my reading.

The following should be generally read as pre-reading activities:
a) Conversational Analysis (CA) – Basically dealing with interaction of both mediums; verbal and non-verbal and how the interaction is structured (turn-taking, sequences of utterances, etc).
b) Stylistic Analysis of Text (Stylistic Variation) – The basis of this analysis is that every author has a distinctive style in both speech and writing.
(Note: These two terminologies are slightly complicated but are good as an added knowledge).

We use language everyday in spite of language differences. As we perform interaction, we are, unconsciously, impose judgment over the person we’re talking with. Notice that “can you lend me some money, please”, it might be said properly but remember the sentence, too, has connotative meaning! It could be translated as “You must give me some money”, note the lexis ‘must’. Sometimes it’s not all about the surface meaning and there are still few elements to be considered i.e. the pragmatics and the semantics features of the sentence.

As we proceed with our interactions within society we might aware or might not (depending on the sensitivity of contemporary changes) of how language operates and the power it wield, both influential and instrumental.

Influential – This kind of power doesn’t impose directly on us. We’re not obliged because there is no transparent force, it just that it influences us to behave in certain ways or adopt opinions or attitudes. (Advertising, Politics, Media and Culture)
For example: One Malaysia and Everyone Can Fly

Instrumental – It’s explicit and we have to oblige or otherwise we’re in trouble. (Law, Education, Business and Management)

For example: Monday, Wednesday and Thursday – Wear Formal Attire or otherwise you’ll be chased out from lecture hall!

Language and power employs myriad of devices that synonymous to literature. Overt example includes:
• Simile
• Metaphor
• Allusion
• Alliteration

I need to read more. My brain is squeezed out! Information overload!

Half day story!

2010-04-02T18:24:00.004+08:00

I woke up around 6.45am today, actually i was not but with my cellphone ringing i eventually get on my feet. and yeah, it's a day off. how ridiculous for me to be wide awake in such a morning. since i couldn't get my eyes shut for the second time, i text my mate to lunch. 11 sharp or so, we're sitting having our lunch. DONE WITH LUNCH, we headed to the city. o yeah, i forgot to mention that a cat was hit by a motorbike just opposite the cafe where we pleasurably lunching. It was a tragic experience since the cat died on the spot and it was still on struggle to release itself from the misery before at last he/she lying still. I keep on telling myself that it wasn't the motor biker's fault. AL-Fatihah.

There are countless of people today at the city and it was sickening. the bus traveled was the worst of all. lot of unwanted odours! and the bus was like a dispose area, people are cramped in. i was at the back seat and there was this loving couple and there were making quite a scene. I absolutely nothing against the act, it was not a crime, and i'm not at all bothered even though they are fucking there. the thing is it made me chuckle, the guy seems very persistent or desperate.

we're headed home after 4pm. i was glad that i'd settled few stuffs today. and yeah, it was Good Friday, and i ate chicken. Hope my my prayer would still be answered. writing this, my eyes occasionally closing. obviously i'm exhausted and i need a full day sleep! i'll write again tomorrow.

This is a starting over!

2010-04-01T18:47:00.004+08:00

It's been awhile since the last time I wrote in this blog and i thought today is the best time to start over. There are lots to talk about, the thing is i don't know where to begin. And sometimes i simply feel that i don't want to talk about those stuffs. It is not because it hurts, it just that i don't want to look pathetic. simply said, i'm trying to look cool and pretending nothing happened. Perhaps, that is even better.